08/22/08: in doubt, past, present, future

08/15/08: after 5 kids in tow

08/08/08: ria's 2nd bday

08/01/08: brother's visit

07/25/08

girl power in canada

the american niagara falls

the canadian horse-shoe niagara falls

me at the niagara falls, ontario, canada

first-time at the falls

girl power in canada

independence day 2008

Me with Gee and Ree @ Virginia Beach, Va 07/04/08

July 4th Fireworks

colorful...

breathtaking...

awesome...

the grand finale @ Mount Trashmore

july 4th 2008 fireworks

07/04/08

06/27/08

06/20/08

06/13/08

06/06/08

05/30/08

05/23/08

5/16/08

... giving: dear husband, happy birthday!!!

i love my dear husband

My dear husband turned 32 on May 2nd. He's not sooo big with celebrating birthdays, that is with his own birthdays anyway. He opts for a private family affair. We usually eat dinner somewhere nice but since he has work that evening, I decided to cook one of his favorite dish.

I have been busy with our houseguests that I haven't picked up his present yet. So early morning last friday, I headed to one of his favorite stores with our two kids along. I knew he's been wanting another toy, one of those electronic gadgets. I was planning to get it too, only it cost way too much. I settled for a giftcard. Not that my dear husband, who works very hard to provide for us, don't deserve to get what he wants... but I thought this "want" of his can wait, a little longer. Maybe he'll get the remainder on Father's Day.

My little ones have been doing good on errands, they were very well behaved as I did the grocery shopping. They were contended on naming the items as I strolled down each lane. And when it came time to choose the birthday cake, daddy's little kids settled for a pineapple cake. I thought it would go along nicely with my salmon florentine and mango flavored green tea.

I've already picked out his greeting card weeks ago. I mentally planned what I have to do once we get home. The salmon has to be seared oventop and broiled in the oven. It will be served with steamed rice and baked broccoli and tomato smothered with cheese. A side of macaroni and cheese will make the meal kid-friendly.

When we got home, dh was still asleep. Gee played with his Thomas and friends trains & Ree worked on shape and color puzzles as I cooked our meal. I was setting the table and the kids watching t.v. when dh woke up. He went to the gym like he does every afternoon. My dear husband exercises regularly as he wants to stay fit not only for his job but to stay healthy and be around for our kids. We all ate together when he got back. The kids sang happy birthday and even blew their daddy's candles.

Nothing elaborate and expensive on this birthday... but I am sure that my dear husband felt cherished and loved on his special day!!!

... optimistic: becoming green!!!

It's been 115 days since I made my new year's resolution... I vowed 2008 would be a year I give back to everybody, including, and especially the environment -- to our mother Earth... so, as I sat outside my patio admiringly looking at my sprouting little garden last Tuesday (EARTH DAY 2008), I've made a list of the simple lifestlyle changes I've implemented and the new habits I've incorporated into my daily routine... all for becoming environment-friendly and hopefully preserving our world for future generations... I must admit they're meek compared to what others do out there to save the planet, but every little bit helps somehow, and I know this is just the start... after all, the world we live in is worth fighting for! YES! I AM OPTIMISTIC!! I AM BECOMING GREEN!!!

I've started with my A-B-Cs... and I hope to grow greener each passing day...

A
Avoid Fast Food.

Having two kids, I'm guilty of so many trips to fast food chains. They were convenient and saved me from so many meltdowns of two hungry kids. Although I haven't completely eliminated our need for fast food, I've cut back on my runs to drive-thrus. When I go run errands with my kids now and they start chanting (company name-withheld) "french fries" or "cheeseburger", I whip out the home-prepared packed snack I brought along for them: peanut butter jelly sandwich or muffins or fruits. Not only they are nutritious but also they are not overpackaged as most fast foods are. Most fast-food companies are responsible for producing mountains of trash. By avoiding fast food whenever possible, I've help reduce this needless waste.

B

Buy Products Made Of Recycled Paper.

Before I buy products now, I look right on the package. Many have specific claims, such as "made of 100 percent recycled material." However, some recycled packages don't advertise this fact, although there are ways you can find out for yourself. For example, when shopping for cereal, cookies, crackers, and other groceries packaged in cardboard boxes, make sure boxes are made from recycled paper. If the underside is gray or dark brown, the cardboard is made of recycled material. If it's white, it is made of unrecycled material.

C

Close The Refrigerator Door.

By leaving it open for just a few extra seconds, you waste a lot of energy. Decide what you want before you open the refrigerator door. Then get it and close the door right away. I happen to have the old-fashioned fridge, you know, the one that don't dispense water to a glass. I love to drink water, more than eight glasses a day. I keep a gallon of water sitting at my kitchen countertop. So that's eight times I did not open the refrigerator door, eight seconds of conserved energy. When I have company over, I have beverages and bucket of ice out. Not only am I being a good hostess for anticipating my guests' need but I am also making their green effort for them.

D

Donate Your Toys To A Worthy Cause.

As a devoted mom, I try to get my kids toys that are appropriate for their developmental needs. In short, they have tons of toys! Toys that they have got tired of or grown out of. I don't throw them away. I have a couple of friends, moms like me, that are more than happy to have them. And I'm pretty sure, once their own kids no longer find use for them good old toys, they'll be keeping these things out of the trash by handing them down to somebody who can and will enjoy them. Several charitable groups also take toys as donations. Even if they are broken, they may be fixed and used by other kids less fortunate.

E

Eat Organic Produce.

I've first caved in to "organic" when I had my first baby. I wanted nothing but the best for my little bundle of joy. I found out that organic produce contains far fewer chemicals than other produce. So it started as a desire for better health. As I learn more about being green, I found out that it is definitely better for the environment. All those chemicals get washed off of farmers' fields into rivers and streams, where they pollute our water. In addition, many of the chemicals are made from petroleum and other nonrenewable resources. Organic fruits, vegetables and grains are grown without most conventional pesticides and without fertilizers made with synthetic ingredients. Organic meat and dairy products are free of antibiotics and growth hormones. Anyone who has tried going green knows it can sometimes cost you more. Some people say they cannot afford to eat organically because eating organic is so expensive. I say one just have to be a savvy shopper and need to learn where to shop. Although I am not going to buy organic that are ridiculously overpriced, I am willing to pay a little more for organic food simply because I like the taste. I don't want to feed my family chemicals, just real food! After all, who wants to save money and sacrifice health? I'm still a rookie in maintaining an organic kitchen but there's plenty of resources out there; here's a few:

http://www.organickitchen.com/foods.html

http://www.eatwellguide.org/i.php?id=Home

http://www.organicvalley.coop/coupons/?gclid=CJjW-fDr9JICFRkyFQodv0Aw4Q

F

Feed The Birds.

I've yet to decide what pets to get my kids as they grow, maybe a dog? maybe a cat? For now, they have a small aquarium of goldfish(es). They're not the most green pets I can think of -- all the water changes it needs to keep them alive within the confines of a small tank. My husband tells me it's a waste. I already use the fish tank to double as a planter for my bamboo stalks. Whenever I change the water, I save the old water to water other plants or flush the toilet. Believe me, I will find more ways to make the best of my not-so-green pets because I cannot bear not to hear the shrieks of joy my young kids let out everytime they feed and watch their little swimming companions. So one day, I was so happy when my kids noticed the birds that adorns the trees surrounding our patio. Birds need water to drink and foot to eat. Feeding birds not only brings a bit of nature to your backyard, it also helps rid the yard of many kinds of bugs. I hang a birdfeeder in the corner of our patio, outside our window. I think a birdbath from which the birds can drink from in my patio is in the future.

G

Grow A Garden.

I don't know how much a garden I can grow in an apartment. But a garden it is! I've always loved gardens. A garden provides flowers, vegetables, and environmental benefits. It can help to reduce soil erosion and may help to reduce some kinds of air pollution. For now, I have a few potted plants -- tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and some flowering ones. I grow my small garden using no pesticides and chemical fertilizers. I will have to work on expanding to a real garden -- with beds and plots as soon as I can call my backyard my own.

H

Hold On To Balloons.

Helium balloons -- the kind that float up into the sky -- are lots of fun, especially to little kids. My little ones have let a couple be flown away. I did know that helium balloons eventually fall back to earth but I guess I never put much thought that it can be blown by strong winds miles away into the ocean and that they might harm fish and animals. Some sea animals mistake the balloons for jellyfish. When an animal tries to eat a balloon, it can kill the animal. Now, I tell my kids if they have a helium balloon, hold on tight! It's never too young for one to know about the dangers of letting balloons fly away.

I

Insulate Your Home.

I found a lot of energy being wasted right in my own home. One thing I didn't have to worry about is insulation. I can say my home is well-insulated. Properly insulating a home will not only help reduce heating and cooling costs but also make a home more comfortable. Do an energy audit. Then, make a list of the things you believe should be done. Elicit someone's help to detemine what and how much improvements will cost, how much energy will be saved and how much money will be saved in reduced energy bills.

J

Join An Environmental Group.

There are hundreds of good organizations around the country. Most of them have annual membership fees of $25 or less, and some have special rates. Try to find one that focuses on something your are particularly interested in. Go to a meeting, event, or other activity. You'll probably meet others with similar interests as yours. For my part, I decided to join the "blog out loud for going green". I aspire to spark somebody's interest to be green, just like how someone have rekindled my passion for the environment.

K

Keep The Car At Home.

Automobiles are one of the single biggest sources of pollution. I learned that a long long long time ago. I also know that there are other means of transportation, like walking, biking, skateboarding, roller-skating, or taking the bus. However, I cannot imagine myself in a bus. How am I to lug my two toddlers, their two-seater stroller, their messenger bag of essentials (wipes, diapers, packed snacks, sippy cups, etc.), my purse and whatever I might be carrying in result of that errand -- be it the groceries for our evening meal or the kids' library books for the week??? So I've come to the conclusion, that my trusty minivan is still a must. I have, however, cut back on my driving to lower my emission footprint, and saved money with gas prices being so absurdly high. As for public transportation... someday. But not today, or tomorrow, or any day this week.

L

Look At Labels.

I have always practiced reading labels. If the product's ingredients contains something hazardous to my/my family's health, or the environment, I don't buy it, or use it even when it's free. Now, in accordance to my pledge to go as green as I can be, I take an extra step. Since many products' label tell consumers how to contact the manufacturer with questions and comments, I feel free to let them know what's on my mind. In particular, let them know if you've decided to buy or not buy their product for environmental reasons. Companies listen very carefully to what their customers have to say. And if they don't, then they don't need a conscientous consumer's support, I am boycotting that product.

M

Make Scratch Pads.

The facility I work for (yeah, despite being a full-time momma, I go to work, occassionally) goes through tons of paper daily. Many gets dropped to the shredder bin as they take the HIPAA issues to heart. There's still a lot, without confidential information, laying around to be discarded. Here's a good way to recycle paper. When you use a piece of paper on only one side, don't throw it away when you are done with it. Instead, put it in a pile with all of the blank sides surfacing up. When you get a big pile, you can turn the paper into scratch pads. First, get someone to cut the pile of paper in half. Then, staple small batches of paper together into "pads." This is already practiced at my workplace, so I will just have to continue it and refuse buying those sticky notes.

N

Notify The Authorities.

I believe everybody has contributed to pollution, one way or the other. To be able not to, is to go green! I haven't personally encountered a polluter yet, well, one that really purposely meant to hurt the environment? If I do, then I know I won't think twice about reporting them to the local, state, or federal government. I'm not sure if I'm ready for all those boo-hoos and I certainly won't relish getting shot at, but I do know the world we live in is a fine place worthy to be fighting for.

O

Observe The Three Rs. Refuse, Reuse, and Recycle.

I am a confessed shop-aholic! I love to shop... still shop... and will continue to shop.... I just don't see myself buying nothing at all! So I've decided to do it less often and wisely if I do. I really do try to live by the rules: Refuse what you don't need. Reduce what you do need. Reuse what you can't reduce. Recycle what you can't reuse. Rebuy (buy recycled) whenever possible. I guess I'm a confessed green shop-aholic now!

P

Plant A Tree.

My family recently attended the Annual Cherry Blossom Weekend Festival in Washington, D.C. I fell inlove with this big tree whose feathering branches where filled with cirrus-cloudlike cherry blossoms. It doesn't look like that the entire year but its beauty during spring is captivating and its memory lasts forever. I would very much love to plant a tree of my own and watch it grow throughout the years. As of now, I have a thriving bamboo tree, one I tend to everyday. In the future, I want to see my bamboo tree nestled among other trees, maybe my own cherry blossom tree, and others I know I will plant and grow, shading my garden of fruits and vegetables that I know I will also plant and grow. This is a commitment I would have to fulfill as soon as I have a backyard I can call my own. I really am optimistic! I really am going green!

Q

Quit Throwing Away Batteries.

Even the postal service these days is making more environmentally friendly choices, they have these postage-paid merchandise return labels in the mailboxes the other week. I used them to mail my old cellphones, old PDA, old digital camera, old cd player, empty inkjet cartridges, and old batteries to the Small Electronics Return Center. There are also drop-off boxes at different stores like Walmart. Americans go through more than two billion batteries a year to power such things as radios, calculators, watches, flashlights, and computers. Unfortunately, batteries contain many hazardous materials, which leak into landfills when batteries are thrown away. Many of these dangerous chemicals get into our water supply. There are two ways you can avoid throwing away batteries. One is by using batteries that can be recharged over and over. You should also find out if there are companies in your area that recycle batteries. If you must throw batteries away, do so at a hazardous-waste collection site, if there is one in your area. Still another idea is to send the batteries back to the manufacturers, signifying that you consider used batteries a potential danger. This may encourage companies to begin recycling. In the end, ask yourself whether you really need to use products that require batteries.

R

Reuse A Bag.

Some people believe that bags made of trees -- paper bags, are less harmful to the earth than bags made of chemicals -- plastic bags. I used to be one of them. Little did I know that making both types of bags creates a lot of pollution, and both paper and plastic bags use a lot of resources. Now that I know neither is much better than the other, I've decided not to use any bag at all, or to bring my own bag. The wholesale club I go to doesn't use any so I keep folding crate in my car trunk, along with several canvas bags, purchased for a dollar each at a local grocery store. Most grocery store clerk now ask for my bag when I check out. If you must use a paper or plastic bag, don't throw it away. Try to use the bag over and over, as many times as you can.

S

Support Green Companies.

In light of my desire to reduce my carbon footprint in this world, I made researches and found out that the products I prefer are nowhere near of becoming green. So I have switched to certain brands. In the past, most companies haven't paid much attention to the environment. But now, a growing number are changing the way they do business. Some are changing their products so that they are less wasteful or polluting. Others are encouraging their employees to carpool or to recycle. Still others are helping their local communities improve their environments. These companies deserve all of our support! Whenever you have a choice between supporting one of these green companies or a company that is less green, you should definitely support the greener one.

T

Turn Off The Lights.

I've always practiced this... so much that my kids picked up the habit. They can't sleep unless it's dark, not even with a night light. I've educated them on turning off the lights when they leave the room. They even turn off the computer screen when I forget. I open windows in the morning to let natural light filter in. And I've switched to compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs). They come in many shapes and sizes now. They're energy efficient and save money in the long run. But they contain small amounts of mercury and few recycling programs exist to handle them. However, the bulbs remain a good choice for the environmentally conscious because the amount of mercury they contain is less than what is generated in the production of the extra electricity required to light an incandescent bulb.

U

Use Recycled Paper.

One can buy toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, writing papers, books, newspapers, and many other things made of recycled paper. There's just no reason why one shouldn't buy recycled paper whenever it is available. Except for the fact that recycled paper cost more. It is so because the market for it now is small. So what's the incentive for spending those extra nickels or even dimes? Because it helps save trees! My husband described our new choice of recycled toilet paper as "sandpaper-y" compared to our "oh sooo soft to the touch" old virgin fiber toilet paper, but we know our back sides can get used to the rough touch, if that's what it takes to save a virgin forest from getting violated.

Seventh Generation, one of the largest recycled producers, estimates that:
*One million trees would be saved if every U.S. household replaced just one 250-count package of virgin fiber napkins with 100 percent recycled ones.
*544,000 trees would be saved by replacing a 70-sheet roll of virgin fiber paper towels.
*424,000 trees would be spared by replacing a 500-sheet roll of virgin fiber toilet paper.
*170,000 trees would be saved by replacing one 175-count box of virgin fiber facial tissue.

V

Visit A Recycling Center.

Last time I visited a recycling center was to drop off things I didn't use, want or need anymore. I haven't been to one lately. I will take the time one of these days to look for the one nearest me. A lot of things can be recycled. As crafty as I can be, I'm sure I can come up with a nice project, one my kids can work with me perhaps. Also, I precycle. Its as simple as bringing my own grocery bags when I go to the supermarket, or by bringing my own mug to the coffee shop or dining in instead of taking out. Choosing glass or aluminum over plastic is precycling, as both glass and aluminum are easier to recycle and create less hazardous waste in their manufacturing.

W

Write a Letter.

Even before I have decided to go green, I have been writing letters to companies or corporations, expressing my concerns or beliefs -- mostly about dissatisfaction of their product or services. In most cases, I've received emails or call-backs from some big wigs apologizing for my awful experience and promising to be better in the future. So I do know that albeit the belief that companies or corporations don't really care to read letters, especially complaints, they do want to know what we think of them. You'd be surprised how much just one letter can do. I read somewhere that according to some experts, if a company or corporation receives just twenty letters on the same subject within a few weeks, they consider the subject high priority. You and your friends can write twenty letters in a few minutes! So, if a company or corporation is doing something that you don't like, write a letter. And encourage your kids or parents and your friends and neighbors, to write letters, too.

X

eXercise Your Rights.

As a human being living on planet Earth, one has the right to clean air and water, a safe environment, and the unspoiled beauties this world has to offer. But with those rights comes responsibilities -- one of which is caring about our planet and making it a healthy, vibrant place for our children and future generations. I don't want to live on a polluted, unhealthy, planet? And I certainly want my kids, grandkids, and their kids' kids to enjoy earth as I've enjoyed it. So I've started making choices, some drastically changed my outlook in life, some didn't even merit a big effort, just plain old common sense!

Y

Yell At A Litterer.

I don't see myself literally yelling at a litterer. On second thought, well, maybe I do. You don't have to yell, but if you do see someone littering, you definitely should say something. Be polite, but state your case. Explain that littering not only is ugly and costs us money (because we have to pay people to pick up the litter and dispose of it), it is also bad for the environment. For my part, I think I will be blogging out loud. I probably will get a few laughs. For sure, some snares or gawking. Hopefully, no one will be shooting at me. But I will do my best to make some people think... or care... or better, act. Hey!!!

Z

Zero In On Specifics.

There's a wide range of environmental problems out there -- acid rain, air pllution, animal cruelty, global warming, hazardous waste, overpopulation, ozone depletion, rain forest destruction, smog, water pollution (did I miss something?) But there are even more solutions. One can be most effective by choosing one or two specific problems to focus on. Don't try to do everything at once. Pick a problem and learn as much about it as you can. Find the individuals and organizations in your area working on the problem and see how you can get involved. And the most important thing is to be committed -- to live by your conviction, not when it's just convenient but especially when it gets tough, to do the best you can do to help save the Earth! That will make you a powerful Green Consumer!

... captivated: the cherry blossoms

... captivated: the cherry blossoms

Last weekend, my in-laws were visiting from Virginia Beach. After lunch at our favorite restaurant, we attended the Sunday mass at our parish church. Then we toured Washington D.C. Again. It was the last weekend for Cherry Blossom Festival. Every year, people from all over flock to Washington D.C. to get a glimpse of these flowering trees. We have lived in the area for four years now and haven't been to one of these flower viewings. So, on a cold windy rainy afternoon, my family adopted yet another tradition. Amidst the soft howling wind and tiny pattering raindrops, we gathered in awe as we view the flowering trees. Some are nearly pure white, tinged with the palest pink, especially near the stem. Some are large, thick with rich pink petals. There are branches that fall almost kissing the ground from where it sprouts, bearing cascades of pink flowers. All the cherry blossom trees were lovely as they can be, we cannot soon pick a favorite. One caught my attention, it's nearly white from top to bottom. It was my favorite of all of them. Me and my husband stood under it while my sister-in-law snapped our picture. It looks like we were under a gigantic mass of cirrus clouds. We all had a great time. The couples were posing lovingly; the kids were just happy running amok playing with the petals that have covered the spring grounds. It's funny how a simple commune with nature could offer such warm feeling. Later on that evening, as my husband and I say our prayers for the night, I made a realization "... Life is like a cherry blossom tree ..." -- A cherry blossom tree has intense beauty and short survival span; although the delicate petals fall and scatter quickly (it briefly burst in springtime and it only takes a week to ten days before all of the blossoms are carried away by the wind), there always remain the optimistic hope for the coming of next year's spring; yet the witnessing of how great its beauty blossom and fall is deeply seeted in memory and lasts a lifetime... -- Life is also beautiful and fragile; with seasons of happiness and sadness, celebrations and sufferings, beginnings and ends, birth and death; with all our family, most friends, some acquaintances, and a few strangers as spectators of the different chapters of our journey, hopefully some have been touched and inspired by our very short passing in this world.

Here are some of our pictures. I've also included a brief summary of what Cherry Blossom Festival is all about (below).

Cherry Blossom Weekend Festival 2008

My family with Washington Monument behind us

with my son, Gee

with my daughter, Ree

touring with my in-laws

my dear husband

life is like a cherry blossom tree???

with my one and only love

the other man in my life

cousins getting playful with the branches

under my favorite cherry blossom tree

i will visit her again

West Potomac Park

The Tidal Basin

overlooking Washington D.C.

(from the Wikipedia Encyclopedia)

THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS

Sakura (Japanese kanji ; katakana; hiragana) is the Japanese name for cherry trees, and their blossoms. In English, the word "sakura" is equivalent to the Japanese flowering cherry, and their blossoms are commonly called cherry blossoms. Cherry fruit (known as sakuranbo) comes from a different species of tree.

HISTORY OF THE FLOWER VIEWING

During the Heian Period (794–1191), the Japanese nobility sought to emulate many practices from China, including the social phenomenon of flower viewing, where the imperial households, poets, singers, and other aristocrats would gather and celebrate under the blossoms. In Japan, cherry trees were planted and cultivated for their beauty, for the adornment of the grounds of the nobility of Kyoto, at least as early as 794. In China, the ume "plum" tree (actually a species of apricot) was held in highest regard, but by the middle of the ninth century, the sakura had replaced the plum as the favored species in Japan.

Every year the Japanese Meteorological Agency and the public track the sakura zensen (cherry-blossom front) as it moves northward up the archipelago with the approach of warmer weather via nightly forecasts following the weather segment of news programs. The blossoming begins in Okinawa in January and typically reaches Kyoto and Tokyo at the end of March or the beginning of April. It proceeds into areas at the higher altitudes and northward, arriving in Hokkaidō a few weeks later. Japanese pay close attention to these forecasts and turn out in large numbers at parks, shrines, and temples with family and friends to hold flower-viewing parties. Hanami festivals celebrate the beauty of the sakura and for many are a chance to relax and enjoy the beautiful view. The custom of hanami dates back many centuries in Japan: the eighth-century chronicle Nihon Shoki records hanami festivals being held as early as the third century CE.

HOW IT CAME TO THE UNITED STATES

Japan gave 3,020 sakura trees as a gift to the United States in 1912 to celebrate the nations' then-growing friendship. These trees have since lined the shore of the Tidal Basin in Washington, D.C. (West Potomac Park), and the gift was renewed with another 3,800 trees in 1965. The sakura trees continue to be a popular tourist attraction (and the subject of the annual National Cherry Blossom Festival) when they reach full bloom in early spring.

Also, Balboa Park of Los Angeles, California has 2,000 Sakura trees that blossom in mid to late March. The trees are located on Balboa Boulevard in Van Nuys, Los Angeles. Philadelphia is also home to over 2000 flowering Japanese cherry trees, half of which were a gift from the Japanese government in 1926 in honor of the 150th anniversary of American Independence, with the other half planted by the Japan America Society of Greater Philadelphia between 1998 and 2007. Philadelphia's sakura are located within Fairmount Park and the annual two-week Subaru Cherry Blossom Festival of Greater Philadelphia celebrates the blooming trees.

Other US cities have an annual Cherry Blossom Festival (or Sakura Matsuri), including the International Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon, Georgia, which features over 300,000 cherry trees. Belleville, Bloomfield and Newark, New Jersey has an annual Cherry Blossom Festival which attracts thousands of visitors from the local area and Korea, Japan and India. It is in the Branch Brook Park. This festival usually takes place on the 2nd to the 3rd Sunday in April. The Newark Cherry Blossom festival has many Japanese cultural and musical events, as well. The Brooklyn Botanic Garden in New York City also has a large, well-attended festival.

... contented: reflections of a career woman then and a stay at home mom now

(EXCERPT FROM ONE OF MY BLOGS ALMOST A YEAR AGO)

"will you quit a successful career to be a devoted stay-home mom???"

... I'm blessed to have a very wonderful family. I have a doting husband who more than provides for his family; he has a high profile career yet he takes his time to give me the support and understanding i need. My 2 1/2 yr old boy & 1 yr old girl are both lovable, energetic and eager to explore the world; they do require a lot of attention but a flash of smile from them is enough to take all my worries away ...

... My long days are filled with endless chores and numerous errands. Balance the checkbook, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, playing with the kids, more activities for the kids, play groups, social calls, family obligations, doctor appointments, and oh yeah -- sneaking in a pedicure/manicure/facial here and there. My to do list never ends! I can't complain though, life is good and God is great! ...

... With my ever excellent organizational skills, I somehow manage to master my househould. This year has been filled with activites, get-aways and vacations. And get this, I work 40-60 hours per week as a top notch project nurse. And I am proud to say that I am the best in our bunch at work. Although lately, I am tired, I feel overwhelmed and wanting a break ...
... My dilemma is neither my home life nor work defines me. It is a combination of both that brings me substance. It always has been! Pre-babies, I was workaholic. but I've learned to acknowledge that my husband and kids come first, so I have slowed down at working. Yet I continue to strive to keep my career that I have worked so hard for. But at this point of my life, I'm thinking one has to give ...

... Sooo, I began to question myself. Am I being selfish by not wanting to just stay at home like other moms? Am I being stubborn by fitting my career to my busy family life? Is there such a thing as being able to juggle both? How do you achieve balance? How do you have the best of both worlds? ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(EXTRACTIONS FROM MY MIND AND HEART RIGHT NOW)

""

My husband and I were doing a great job juggling our careers and caring for our kids. He works three twelve hour nights in a week. I (used to) work just three days a week too. Three long days -- twelve to sixteen (and sometimes) twenty hour work days, depending on how much workload we get. I prefer it that way, instead of five eight hour shifts, I couldn't possibly be away from home everyday. Thank heavens that my job allowed me the flexibility that most employees envy: I controlled my own schedule so long as the work was done! Since our busy work schedule left one day for the whole family to be together, that one day was devoted to family activity. We would also take breaks (weekend get-aways and quarterly vacations) in between so that we don't get burned out. Everything was working well. Minus the feeling that I was rushing all the time -- rushing to finish my paperworks so I can go home and take care of the kids so the hubby can have a shut-eye before his shift... rushing to put the kids to bed so I can clean the mess they've made so I can sleep and be ready for work the next day... but all is well. That was until my husband's work required him to travel last October. Since we didn't send our kids to daycare or have a babysitter, I gave my two weeks notice. My boss was sorry to let me go and told me to come back as soon as I can.

The first few weeks was like a vacation for me. I relinquished the work induced stress and basked in the comforts of my home. And with the husband gone too, I had more time for myself. I mean, that was one person less to care for. Meal preparation was easy as I was dieting and my kids are happy with macaroni and cheese for dinner. My boy goes to school three times a week (every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday from eleven in the morning to three in the afternoon). So on those days, I focused on my girl who was more than happy to shadow me while I do house chores. On Thursdays, we attend a play group in a shopping mall playground. On Fridays, we visit the nearest Barnes & Nobles where I catch up on my reading while they play Thomas the Blue Tank Steam Engine.

When my husband came back from his work trip, he was amazed by how clean and organized everything was. I have always tried to keep the house neat, but with both of us working full-time and two toddlers eager to explore, our place was far from immaculate. So with the moldings scrubbed to glistening white, pantry almost alphabetized, and all his clothes pressed, my husband very much liked the idea of me not working. And he told me, he'd prefer it that way.

Since the holidays were around the corner -- we always host Thanksgiving Dinner for friends and we always take a two week Christmas vacation to spend with my in-laws, there is no point in rushing back to work just to put in requests to be off. I told myself I can go back to work in January 2008. Then there was the christmas shopping list, weekly menus, family activities, more playgroups and new kiddie wardrobes, spa days with girlfriends, and dinner and movie dates with my husband while my trusted friends babysit. Somehow, over the holiday bustle and vacation fuss, I settled into my new routine. I have always been the primary caregiver to my kids but being with them 24/7, this was the most domesticated I've ever been. The quality of our home life had changed from rushed and okay to a balanced routine. My kids were happier. My husband was happier. I was happier. Then my desire to rejoin the work force became nonesixtent.

I still see my co-workers, we have coffee and lunches every now and then. Their stories bring back memories of the nursing profession I so dearly hold close in my heart. But none entice me to give up what I do now. I sometimes miss our office hustle. I always think I could be doing a great job if I am there. But I never regret a day spent with my kids. Never have I looked down on moms that opted to be stay-at-home, but I have always thought they were missing out on the rewards of what a career brings to a woman. Until I experienced it, then I realized it -- motherhood is a career, a devotion on its own. And if a mommy could afford to stay at home with the kids, then by all means, she should savor it. Kids are only young for a while, I can give up my j-o-b for now, after all, I am confident that my career will still be there... long after my kids are grown, and I'm on my own again.